Different stages

We're entering into a new stage in our life.  We have both felt it and commented.

Sam: We need some friends who are going through what we are going through.

me: I know what you mean.  I was thinking that.

And that's why we were so excited to get together with some new old friends yesterday.  Sam knew the almost husband from when they were younger and partied together, hung out in the same crowds.  They hadn't really seen each other in years, but met up through one of Sam's employees.

Since we had just gotten married and they are about to get married, we had much to talk about.  Only, I haven't met the almost wife yet.  Our plans to get together weren't exactly coming to fruition.

But Saturday...a whole different story.

We're going to meet up at the Renaissance Festival.  Did you hear that?  We're definitely going to the festival and we're bonding with friends!

Of course, I'm excited.  Of course, I am looking forward to it.  And I have absolutely no reservations.  None.

I'm sure I'll get along with the almost wife.  I can get along with anyone I want to get along with.  Sam tells me I can be very charming.  Again...when I want to be.  Right now...I want to be.

So, we're finding people that we have more in common with, people to grow with, people that are going to be at the same stage in life as we are.  It has been so long.  When we first started dating, we had friends who had just started dating and some couple friends.  Now we're married, and we already have some married friends.  We're getting there.  We're growing.  We're embracing all the changes.

Dreamers decorate their dreams

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but I'm living in my dream home.  Almost.  I have my dream man.  That's a great start.

This home is the same floor plan as the home I lost and the in the same neighborhood.  And, quite honestly, because it is right in the center of our street, I rather like his home better.  And because I share it with him, it is more my home than my home ever was.

We have been slowly making changes to the home...more slowly than we would like.  That's the nature of life as a contractor.  There is either money and no time or time and no money.  And there's only so much that I can do.  I try really hard, but I have my limits.  This is why we are a team.  And luckily this team works so well together.

About a year and a half ago, we sat down and made a plan for the house.  It was our ten year plan of what we wanted to accomplish.  We wanted the home to be comfortable and make it more marketable.  We needed to update and improve.  We also had to be careful not to price it out of the neighborhood.  We came awfully close on the bathroom.  Now we're working on the great room, which pretty much encompasses the rest of the house.

So, when rains kept Sam from working on Saturday, we ended up finally putting our wedding money to work.  We went to Lowe's.  It's my crack.  We picked out the paint for the great room.  We started wall repairs.  We picked out the chair rail.  We have now started work.

Sam climbed through the scuttle hole over the great room to fix a truss issue we've been having that resulted in the all cracking along the seam.  More wall repair.  More work to be done.  Nothing is ever simple.  I'm used to it.

You'd think we'd have this down by now.  We sort of do.  I started taking off the outlet covers.  With a chisel.  I couldn't find  flat head, but I am very resourceful.  Sam moved furniture.  The room is much cozier now as aisles have been created around the room.

There will be pictures.  You know how this works.  It's going to be a dramatic change.  And I love all of our changes, great and small.  Time and patience are really making a big difference in every aspect of our life.

So many reactions...

We've had so much feedback on our plans. Okay, I've had so much feedback. I'm the one who's really telling people.

I've been sharing most with those I respect most, those that understand me best. And I suppose I've kinda rigged the outcome, since I've been so selective. Still, the response has been positive.

Most people find inspiration in what we've decided to do. Part of it is that we're making the best of a crummy situation. Part of it is that we have dug deep and found the courage to truly follow our dreams. Not everyone does that. And those that stray from the norm, that shed their sheeple skin, are seen as inspirational.

That's what Holly sees. I've known Holly almost as long as I've been in North Carolina. She babysat my kids. We kept in touch when she went off to college. And now that she's graduated, we still keep in contact. Not as much. The girl has a life. And I'm not supposed to be the center of it.

Our life has been on fast forward lately, and I was concerned that I might actually not get to see her before we made the move. So, I just left her the most shocking message on her voicemail that I could. I had to spur her to action. Most of the times, my messages went unanswered.

This time, however, she called me right away.

And when she called, she was crying. She was crying for a loss she anticipated. And she was crying because she was happy for me, for us. And she was crying because she loved that we were following our dreams. That word popped up again: inspiration.

Of all the reasons for us to make this drastic change...it isn't about trying to be inspirational. It's all about needing a change.

Change is good. Big changes, scary changes, uncomfortable changes are even better. On this one, we're going for the gold. It's all that and more. Play big, win big. And for some reason, with Sam by my side, taking huge chances and making enormous changes just aren't as scary.

I guess I believe him. He always tells me he's got me. And he does. I can't fall. We can't fail. And soon enough...our secret will be out of the bag. We'll be ready to tell the world.

A moment of quiet...

Last night I could hardly haul myself to bed, I had so many ideas just running through my head. I was still considering our travel plans. We have discussed so many options. This morning, I can barely get focused. I have to get centered and fast!

And I've just realized that we're about to get a lot more interesting. That's for sure. As much as I want to spill my guts and just share all about our plans, I know that if I do...someone is going to pop up and just ruin it.

There will be some well-meaning soul who will make us doubt or second-guess our choices. While I am really impulsive, I have Sam to help me through it. Sam is the voice of reason. He's the Ying to my Yang. And I'm the light to his dark. It works.

Every time I make a suggestion about our plans, he reels me in, hauls me back. (I keep wanting to call it a trip when in fact it is actually an entire change of life and scenery, a departure from everything and everyone we know.)

Sam is the money guy. It's good. It's better that it isn't me. We know how I roll. I somehow believe that life and hope and a healthy dose of optimism will provide. And the problem is that I have so many years of dumb luck and support to prove it that it is hard to truly refute my belief.

I am resourceful. I am resilient. I am...clearly trying to convince myself that I can handle anything. Only...mostly I can.

And so I have to go back to work. It's Happy Yard Sale Day! We are selling it all. Bit by bit. It won't take long for the neighbors to figure it out. It won't take long for the world to know.

We have a big life ahead of us. We'll be leaving soon. It could be anywhere from two to six months. Sam is getting antsy. Now that we're selling stuff, he wants to go right now.

I find that to be very encouraging. Even more, he's trying to learn how to do what I do. It's the business end of our life that we're working so hard on. We can't have the dream without some money to make it happen.

Hoping the winds of change continue to blow some luck our way.