Dreamers adapt

That's a sign of a true dreamer.  We don't crumble when life nails us with lemons.  Nope, we collect them, squeeze them, add water to dilute, and sweeten them with sugar.  We aren't easily deterred.

We simply face what life hands us and change up when we need to.

For example...last year Sam and I were planning our great big getaway.  We figured we'd downsize and travel by boat.  We found and bought a boat.  We learned to sail.  We went sailing.  We lost our mast.  We realized that if we couldn't make it out of the bay, we probably shouldn't try our luck at the open sea.

Here's where the adaptation comes in...

We sold the boat.  Actually, it was more of a trade, which would explain why we are currently sitting on three boats.  When the weather improves, we will be selling them.  And with the money, we will catch up and move forward.  We have all kinds of things we hope to accomplish in the next eleven months and twenty-two days.

It's all about our baby and building our future these days.  Hopefully, travel will be part of it. I am exploring the options of getting paid as a travel writer.  Combine two of my passions?  Yes, please.

We're adapting bit by bit.  These days with my short leash...the adaptations are smaller.  Take lunch.  Sam brought home buffalo chicken strips.  And, dare devil that I am, I ate them...and lived.  Small steps.  Big pay off.  I'm not hungry at the moment.  Sometimes, that is enough.

Dreamers modify their dreams

So, last spring I started a company.  I really believed in it.  I thought it had promise.

Sure, there were concerns that it wouldn't make it.  All new businesses have that concern.  It seemed like I was really going to make a go of it at first, but then...business slacked off.  I blamed it on a number of reasons...not the least of which was that it was difficult, maybe even nearly impossible to make a company grow when you are already working for another company full-time, running a home, raising two kids, taking care of a bevy of animals, and have a fiance who also needs time and attention...personally and professionally.

Yeah, so it failed.  Or just fizzled.  Regardless of the description, the result was the same.

The theory was good.  I was offering to do some social marketing for companies at a very reasonable rate.  the execution was good.  I had a new website made.  I opened accounts for everything I had to do.  New emails to manage, new YouTube to manage, new Twitter, new Facebook, new Flickr.  I was dying.  It was too much.  Or it was too much for me.  Add to that the need to find companies to work with...

Well, you know where this is going.

And it's now fall.  Six months later.  By now I thought the business would be well-established and we'd be preparing to go south, at least as far as The Keys, maybe farther.  We bought the boat.  (You know, the one that demasted and nearly killed us over Fourth of July.)  We had some really big plans.

Plans change.  And dreams get adjusted.  And eventually, dreamers find new dreams, find ways to modify their existing dreams.  We have to.

I still believe after all these years that everything happens for a reason.  I believe that all the bad and all the suffering lead to something good.  It always has in my life.  Or maybe I'm just super at finding that silver lining and seeing life through rose colored glasses.  Hey, whatever works and keeps me sane, right?

Well, I have a new direction to take the business.  I just have to get my computer guru on board.  I'm working on that as we speak.  Wish me luck.  And with that luck, we'll coast through winter.  We'll soar into spring.  And we'll be making all our dreams come true.

Details to follow of course.  Hugs!

Dreamers make tough choices

Well, it's no secret that our sailing dreams have not exactly gone as planned. It didn't surprise me. Our life is like that.

Originally, we bought the sailboat thinking that it would be our home away from home. We had plans to work from it and travel with it. We were going to sail the Caribbean on the off months. It was all figured out.

All we had do was install some electronics and learn how to sail the boat. It seemed simple enough. And goodness knows we're not afraid of hard work. How difficult could it be?

After three sailing lessons, we have our answer. It's stupid challenging.

And since our third lesson was the biggest catastrophe to date, we have decided to roll up our sails for good.

Sam: I think it's a sign. I mean, Nicki, we lost our whole mast! We could have been killed.

me: You have a point.

He really does.

Sam: If we want to go to the Caribbean, we can fly or take a cruise.

me: Talk to me, baby.

So, we're getting the boat repaired. And then we're selling it. There was a lot more to the conversation. Sam can't get injured every time we go on vacation. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. So far, sailing, not so much. And we agreed that what we loved most about the boat was that it was our weekend cottage.

We'll have another weekend cottage some day. For now, we need to work on the house and building the business, and giving me time to write. We'll dream some new dreams...

It'll take a miracle

Just one small miracle. That's all that I need. Without it...no Plan Sea.

Yeah. That's all.

I tried everything I could think of, but the purchase of the boat had to be completed in thirty days. We're over.

There's nothing I can do about it. The IRS won't start tracing the check until today. I didn't receive an inheritance from a long lost relative I've never heard of. I haven't had a big sale on Rentable Me. No sponsors offering me large sums of money. And I don't play the lottery...mostly because of the luck thing. I simply don't have any...luck that is.

For the most part, I believe we make our own luck with perseverance and effort. I've done all that I can. Somehow, I have to believe that whatever happens was meant to be. It will all work out in the end.

So, I'm swallowing my disappointment. I'm moving forward. New plan. There will be a new boat when the time is right. It better be soon.

Finding a new dream

It's going to take some time. I have to think about what to do very carefully. And, since I no longer trust myself to make...any major decisions...I'll be asking you to weigh in and help. You will, right? You won't leave me here to flounder on my own filled with self-doubt?

So far I have been encouraged to keep my dream alive, to follow it. Friends are reminding me that I'm strong. And I have to admit, I'm feeling stronger.

I only have a few more days to pack up and get things out of the house. My self-imposed deadline, not his. He actually doesn't seem happy about my departure. At the same time, we have agreed it's for the best. It is. I just think in the long run it will be better for me than for him.

Therefor, I'm working on doing what dreamers do. We dust ourselves off and find a new dream or we rework an existing dream. No matter what, we never stop dreaming.

My cousin, Becky, thinks that I can get some sponsors and carry on with the Plan Sea if I have the right schtick, the right angle. She may be right. At the moment, my entire angle is that I'm Suddenly Single at Sea. I think it would be therapy. I think if I took some time and sailed away, building the business as I went, that I would definitely come back stronger. Sam would never be able to touch me again.

At the same time, there are the kids to consider. There's the possibility that, at the moment, I might want to consider some land adventures since Rachel will be graduating next fall and Keenan will be starting high school. I can't leave them. Not now, not ever.

But mostly, my dream does not involve a house anymore. Okay, maybe a house on a tropical island, but no ordinary continental US house will do. I could Under the Tuscan Sun it in the Caribbean. (The movie version, not the real version.)

The important thing is that I have time to figure this out. I have until my tax refund arrives, and then some. I have a place to stay until then. It is the perfect place to recuperate. I'll tell you more tomorrow.

For now, I need to ponder my next move. This one is temporary. All opinions are welcome.