Dreamers often wonder what the future holds...

And I am one of them.

Of course, today is super special.  Today is Keenan's birthday.  The boy turns 14 today.

I'm so excited about marking this milestone in his life.  He is growing so quickly.  He already towers over me.  He's getting stronger...and the pull up bar helps.

I love discovering all his new quirks.  I love seeing what he is getting into next.  I love our conversations as a a family.

Yes, Keenan will come out of his cave and hang out with us in the living room here and there.  And when he does, he's sure to talk to us about something he's been ruminating on for quite some time.

Just the other night, he was asking about getting a calendar for tracking his workouts.  Interesting.  And we discussed his birthday plans.  Looks like it will be a guys night.  He wants to see a movie with some friends, get some pizza, eat some cake, and then pull a video game all nighter with them.  I can live with that. 

Of course, I can't help but wonder what the future holds for Keenan.  He has some changes coming.  He's about to be a big brother.  As loving as he is, as considerate as he is, I'm sure he'll be awesome.  He will be much adored.  And he'll even probably be at least a little annoyed with it all...understandably.

All I know is that Keenan has so much promise, such a big bright beautiful future ahead.  I'm so glad I'm a part of it.  I'm so glad I've been able to shape his life thus far.  And I'm so proud of the man he's becoming.

He asked me once, years ago, if I thought he'd make a good husband and father one day.  I did then.  I still do.  Just don't rush it, kid.  Be smart like step-Sam.  Wait for the right woman to come along, the one that changes everything, the one you can't live without.  You have plenty of time to make all your dreams come true.

Dreamers live in the moment

We're redecorating.

Bit by bit.

The great room may be done later this weekend.  Or early next week.  It's hard to say.  We have a lot going on.

Sam managed to get us sucked into an Open House at Direct Buy tonight.  Yeah.  Of all people.  Of course, I shouldn't say anything yet.  He has proven to be an incredible shopper lately.  Mostly because he isn't afraid to speak up.

He managed to get us a box of fire starter logs..24 of them...for only $3.99.  The shelf was labeled that way and the manager honored it.  And someone else probably lost a job, but mostly...we ended up with a great deal.

And then there was the visit to Lowe's where he ended up getting the spider for 25% off.  Huge savings.  And we'll be all decorated for Halloween this year.  Yay!  One thing at a time.  Halloween is his holiday.  Christmas is mine.  I love it warm and cozy.

So, aside from the two hours of my life I will never get back after tonight, there is also the matter of the Renaissance Festival on Saturday and football on Sunday.  And while I'm looking back over all the changes taking place, I can't help but think about what to do with this big hulking wall in the living room.

There's a quote by Mark Twain that I absolutely love:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

It's so me.  It speaks to me.  And it made me think about how I could use it in the room.  We've had a really big life already.  We have traveled and had our share of adventures.  We have truly explored and embraced trying new things.  We're married now...which may just be the biggest adventure of them all.


We tried our hand at sailing.  We still own a sailboat.  We had some glorious weekends in Charleston, living on the water.  (That was more my dream than his, but he truly embraced it to make me happy.)

And I am happy.  I really live.  I truly love.  And every day...I grow.  I never want to look back with regrets in 20 years, or 30 years...or ever.  We're on the right path.

Where is yours leading you?

Dreamers stay organized

Yup, that's what we try to do. If you are going to have a big life and big plans, you have to stay on top of things. And about the only way I know to do that is through mad organizational skills.

I'd like to introduce myself, I am the office goddess.

When I first started working with Sam, we discussed what my title should be. He loves thinking of me as his PA, personal assistant. We pondered calling me his PIT, partner in training. He already considers me his PFL, partner for life. Then there were some names that were never going to happen. Go ahead and use your imagination.

After working magic with numbers for days, I have decided that no title is more fitting than...office goddess. I have even convinced him he should bow in my presence. And he does. It makes me giggle. There are worse ways to live.

Now, aside from being able to work magic with numbers and master the invoicing, finding money with same tenacity and enthusiasm as a drug dog, I am uber organized. Yes, just one of my many specialties.

Sure, some might question my organization strategies, but what we have going on works. I am the keeper of the calendar. I can tell you, at a glance, who is working where, for what company, on what job, and how much we're invoicing for. That's organized.

I can even access these invoices in milliseconds and tell you what we've been paid on, what money we're waiting on, and if there are any invoices that are only partially paid. I love Quickbooks. It helps me stay organized.

We set out with a goal. We need to make $40,000 by winter. In addition to that, we need to make sure we get the bathroom remodeled for the kids. And there's a few plans for vacation time.

Life is looking so much more special, so much shinier and newer. And I think being organized, having a plan, and working towards those goals is going to make a big difference. Right now, we're on track. We've got this. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Dreamers get it done

That’s right. The best kinds of dreamers are those who don’t simply sit around thinking and imagining, but will put in the time and effort to see their projects to fruition. And that’s the kind of dreamer I am.

This dreamer is getting published. Okay, it’s only self-publishing…for now. Still…published is published.

Next week will be a week of shameless self-promotion. I’ve already worked on creating an author page on Amazon. That’s right. There are bios on FrankMcCourt, Amanda Hocking…and little old me. (Well, not really old…just an expression.)

Ah, but let’s face it. Right now, Amanda Hocking is currently my hero. Tired of the traditional publishing methods, she did what dreamers do: she got it done. She self-published and is now getting a huge payoff for all of her efforts. She’s already a millionaire.

I don’t care about being a millionaire, but I would love to make this my career. I would love to be able to do this full-time. I have a plan. I’m working it. And I’m just dying for the big payoff from all my efforts. It will come.

In the meantime…I’m working my little fingers into nubbins. (I have tiny fingers to match my Cinderella feet.) It’s pretty much just everything in the middle that needs some serious shrinking.

*sigh*

One day.

In my mind, I dream that with my writing career will come more time to exercise and eat write. That’s my dream. In time. Oh, but my mental deadline says end of summer. We’ll see. With some luck and a whole lot of perseverance, I’ll get there.

In the meantime, we outfit Plan Sea . We practice sailing on the weekends. We find more fodder for my novels. (I find it EVERYWHERE!) And next week, I’ll have stories for you, back stories to some of my novels. Yes, my life is stranger than fiction. Some of it, I just can’t make up. And I actually like it that way.

If there’s anything dreamers do, it’s live a big life. And I’ll take mine unconventional, thank you. With a margarita.

I got the job

Yup.

I walked into the interview. I wasn't stressed or scared or worried or nervous. I wanted it. I knew I could do it...whatever 'it' was. And I seem to have nailed it.

Maybe it's because I have a rather impressive writing resume. Maybe it's because I'm confident in my writing abilities. Maybe it's because Sam is confident in my writing abilities, too.

Sam: When it comes to writing, I have absolute faith in you. You are very talented.

So before I had even left the interview, I was being offered the position. And it started last night. Well, the training started last night. The actual job won't start until next week.

I'm going to be working some pretty crazy hours. That's what happens when you are interviewing business people in Australia. Guess I'll adapt. And I'll learn to say things like...g'day, mate! Or, I'll just be myself and that will have to be enough.

After this week of training, I will only be working three nights a week. And after three weeks of proving myself, I'll be able to work from home.

There it is: my dream in a nutshell. I get to work from home soon enough.

And if I make the kind of money they are telling me I will...well, I can retire my day job. I can concentrate my efforts on my writing. I can work on my marketing efforts.

Know what?

I can do this.

I believe it. It seems like I have been ready for this for so long. It seems like my entire life has been building to this. It seems like life is turning around, like luck is on my side, like I really can live my dream.

Keep your fingers crossed. I'm chasing my dreams here. I hope you are, too.

Personal goals

There have been signs lately that I am on the right path, but I still have so far to go. When I first started writing Suddenly Single Journey, I did it with one goal in mind: getting published. I was told by my literary agent that I needed to build a readership so that they could get me published.

Right.

So I built my readership. It's easily 10 times more than I was told I'd have to have in order to get published. Only...I'm still not published. And then last year, I wrote my first e-book and went the self-publish route. It didn't sell well. And I have to admit that I attribute much of that to the lack of marketing. I didn't do much with it.

Only now, a big part of what I do is marketing and promotion. I like that. I think about how the possibilities are endless. I think that now may be just the right time for me to pursue self-publishing once more. With the time I've wasted trying to get published, I could be done already and simply promoting my work.

There are so many more mainstreamed options than there were in the past. Self-publishers are even getting the attention of publishing houses now. It's possible to be a millionaire from self-publishing. I just have to get the backbone to put it out there. And I have to find the time to make it happen.

About that time thing...I've been looking for other jobs. I need a job that will allow me more time to pursue my true passions. I need a job that will further my passions. And I have a job interview...today...after work.

If I get this position, it is a step in the right direction to making the money I need and chasing my dreams. If I get this job, it should lead to me having the time to self-publish. If I get to go this route, this dreamers dreams can start coming true.

Wish me luck!

Sunday snuggle talks

We had to lay low Sunday evening. The sun wasn't even down when we were in for the night. We had to. It was the gash in Sam's leg that kept us from having the bonfire we had intended. It was the gash that kept us from standing around over at Ed's and visiting with the neighbors. It was the gash that meant I was cooking. Stupid gash.

At the same time...it was the gash that had us lounging around on the couch having some truly lovely talks. Who doesn't need lovely talks?

So, we discussed our future. I wanted to know if our visions were similar. I wanted to know if we still meshed, still wanted the same things. We do.

As much as our views of where our lives were going to go has changed over the last few months, there are still some aspects of the dream that have remained the same. We want to share this life together. We want to sail as much as possible. We want to remodel the house.

It used to be that everything was his idea for his house. Only over the past year, it has become our house. Everything from his mouth is 'our' and 'we.' I need that. I need to know that we are in this together. I need to know that my opinion matters.

He assured me that it does. I get to make the new kitchen design. It's going to be a major overhaul once the money is good. The bathroom comes first. Soon after, the kitchen. Normally, I would express how much I just can't wait...oh, but I can.

Finally, it seems, I am learning patience. I am learning that good things come to those who wait...things like swings. And there's so much more. Oh, but you know how I love surprises. There are tons in store for you. Just wait...

An unexpected turn of events

I've been pretty sad lately. Really really really sad.

This time last weekend, I was certain my life was over. The life we had planned together was done. The hopes, the dreams, the future...all of it...gone. Simply finished.

Sam had hurt me. I was destroyed. And I wasn't sure I could forgive him. The kids were living with their father. I felt lost and alone.

I wanted to hold onto our dream, dream the dream alone. I still wanted the boat. Our boat. Plan Sea.

Long ago I had given up on the house. We were struggling and behind and every effort we had made to remedy the situation was shut down.

Hope. I needed some hope.

And hope came in some unexpected ways and some strange places.

We've been talking. We've been working on things.

I have always said that we can fix anything that we want to fix, the key is whether or not we want to fix it. He does. I do. If we can.

The trick is laying it all out, every little thing that has been glossed over and swept under the rug. We had to share every thought, feeling, gripe, unfulfilled need. It's easy to do when we have nothing left to lose. And then we have to decide where to go from there. Can he meet my needs? Can I meet his? Is it worth the effort?

We think so. We're taking it slow. We're working on time and patience. There is much to be considered. It's not a decision to make lightly.

But for some reason, once we decided to try, things changed.

His house, our home...it's saved. We're not losing the house. We received a grant. We may still get the loan modified, the payment lowered. We're going to be okay.

The boat, Plan Sea...it's saved. We got our miracle. We spoke to the owner. He likes us. He doesn't want to put the boat back on the market. He's willing to wait for the IRS to come through with my check.

We'll have our boat. We'll have our house. We'll get the future we dreamed of. And it seems like we'll get so much more.

He says he's done being scared. He says that he understands what's important. He's ready to follow through. He's ready to give me everything I want and need. It will take time. I need to be patient. We're still working on a limited budget. It will take some time to catch up, but once we do...everything. My whole dream.

Seems like I got my miracle after all.

One if by land. Two if by sea.

It's two.

Brace yourselves. This is the plan.

We're buying a sailboat.

Nope. I don't know how to sail. Nope. Sam doesn't, either.

But we're about to learn. We aren't complete idiots. We have some free lessons in the works. And we have been doing tons of research.

We're going to sail the Caribbean. Seriously.

Blue water has been our dream forever. And you can't get more blue water than you can by sailing on a boat. Makes sense, right?

And adventurers that we are, we're going to visit every place that our heart desires. We'll start with a small boat and eventually upgrade as we have more money.

Here's the beauty of the plan. I can earn all the money we need with the new company. We've checked the budget. And it looks like the average cruisers spend around $1000 per month to survive.

Imagine how much money we can put away with that cost of living. Yeah, we should be doing really well really soon.

We're downsizing our life, in some ways. We're selling off everything. It will be the first time I haven't owned a car in 20 years. Strange, huh. And yet really exciting. We're going to try new things...like diving and underwater photography. We're going to simplify. No time schedule...for the most part. No excess. Enjoying the bounty of the ocean.

Sam is going to learn to eat fish. I am going to have to remember how to clean it. And he has promised me lobsters. Yes, plural.

It's going to be a whole new way of life. And we're really excited about it. This is why I named the blog what I did. This is the kind of life I have always dreamed of.

Don't bother trying to kill this dream. Don't even think of trying to talk us out of it.

We're contacting potential sponsors while we prepare the boat for the journey. And we're working on lining up advertisers for the new site. This...all while we work on unloading our stuff and tying up loose ends here.

I'm exhausted and I've never been so happy.

So, go ahead, let the questions begin...