Dreamers set some conditions...

So, we knew this day would come.  We had to make some decisions about Kenna's care.

A month ago she had her first treatment of Decadron.  It's a steroid.  And while she didn't get any muscles or suffer any 'roid rage, she didn't manage to get strong enough to breathe on her own for long either...a mere 24 hours and 50 minutes.

We worried for a long time after that.  It seemed like the experience nearly killed her.  She was completely worn out after that.  And it has taken virtually a month for her to get back to where she was breathing wise.  Her weight has been on the rise.  In truth, although they have skirted the issue and mentioned a second course of the Decadron, I have hesitated to move forward.

More than anything I wanted her to be stronger and gain more weight before we went that direction.  On top of that, Kenna hates laying on her back.  What does one have to do with the other?  Well, funny you should ask.

The bubble CPAP mostly has to be done while the baby is laying on the back.  My little fighter will position herself.  And I worry that she will be so mad laying on her back that this won't work.  Ever since she discovered the joy on being on her belly, it has been her comfort position.

Whenever she gets upset, it's onto her belly to calm down.  And it works.  Her sats go up.  Her breathing is better.  She is overall much happier.

Only there is no belly time on CPAP.

So, there's that.  And there are other worries.

The doctor explained that she probably won't be at any greater risk for cerebral palsy than she was before due to the use of Decadron.  And she is stronger, hopefully strong enough.  We shall see.

There is no other option.  We have to move forward and she needs help.  The Decadron will do that.

I made one condition of sorts.  I explained that there had been talk of raising her to the 30 calorie feeds.  And I wanted them to do that so she could gain some more weight before we did this.  The doctors agreed.  There were even smiles.  I guess they like that I'm on top of things.

I read to Kenna yesterday...Guess How Much I Love You?  With all my heart.

So, we're moving forward and taking a risk.  It's time.  She's tough.  And she has so many people thinking of her that I know she'll be just fine.