So, the bright side...

I find myself once again discussing something I truly hate discussing, but that is clearly somewhat troubling.  And this is as close as I'm going to get to discussing it.  Trust me.  So, if you want to hear more about my boobs and milk, keep reading.  If you are more like Sam and are sick to death of hearing about it, come back tomorrow when I'll have something new to discuss.

Remember from here on, you  are reading at your own peril.

So...I'm now taking fenugreek...on account of the fact that I already took two rounds of Reglan and aside from the fact that the side effects were rough...especially the rash...a third round could results in permanent Parkinson-like tremors.  And no way do I need to risk that. 

Hence the fenugreek.

It's all natural.  It's an herb.  And I can pick it up at GNC.  Cool.

Only I wasn't taking enough.  I have been increasing the dosage.  I am now up to 16 pills a day.  I don't do pills.  I suck at pills.  And now I'm choking down 16 a day.  And there are side effects.  Despite the fact that I've always considered myself pretty hale and hardy, I now seem to be getting every side effect from everything I take.

Now there could be a really bright side to this.  If this works, I'll gladly continue to subject myself to them.  I won't mind that I reek of maple syrup or that I'm constantly nauseous.  And shoot, between feeling nauseous and having sixteen pills floating around my stomach, I might not have much room for food.  And then I could lose some more weight.

That would be the best side effect ever.

I'm a little disappointed though.  I really wanted to be able to nurse Kenna for the first year.  It matters to me that she have the best start.  That's why I'm trying so hard.

And Sam's reaction?

Sam: You're doing the best you can.  If you dry up we cry for thirty minutes and move on.  We stock up on formula.  No big deal.

That's just the love and support I needed.  Nothing to feed my emotions too much.  Something to keep me headed in the right direction.  This is why we work...even when my boobs don't.

Somehow, Kenna will be fed.  That's already very important to her.  She begins to freak out when she doesn't get fed regularly.  I think we know which parent she gets that from.  Guilty.  And with this eating will come growth.

Grow, baby girl.  We're ready.