Last night I could hardly haul myself to bed, I had so many ideas just running through my head. I was still considering our travel plans. We have discussed so many options. This morning, I can barely get focused. I have to get centered and fast!
And I've just realized that we're about to get a lot more interesting. That's for sure. As much as I want to spill my guts and just share all about our plans, I know that if I do...someone is going to pop up and just ruin it.
There will be some well-meaning soul who will make us doubt or second-guess our choices. While I am really impulsive, I have Sam to help me through it. Sam is the voice of reason. He's the Ying to my Yang. And I'm the light to his dark. It works.
Every time I make a suggestion about our plans, he reels me in, hauls me back. (I keep wanting to call it a trip when in fact it is actually an entire change of life and scenery, a departure from everything and everyone we know.)
Sam is the money guy. It's good. It's better that it isn't me. We know how I roll. I somehow believe that life and hope and a healthy dose of optimism will provide. And the problem is that I have so many years of dumb luck and support to prove it that it is hard to truly refute my belief.
I am resourceful. I am resilient. I am...clearly trying to convince myself that I can handle anything. Only...mostly I can.
And so I have to go back to work. It's Happy Yard Sale Day! We are selling it all. Bit by bit. It won't take long for the neighbors to figure it out. It won't take long for the world to know.
We have a big life ahead of us. We'll be leaving soon. It could be anywhere from two to six months. Sam is getting antsy. Now that we're selling stuff, he wants to go right now.
I find that to be very encouraging. Even more, he's trying to learn how to do what I do. It's the business end of our life that we're working so hard on. We can't have the dream without some money to make it happen.
Hoping the winds of change continue to blow some luck our way.
I've taken some advice from Gwen Bell and begun borrowing some cushions from the kids to sit and meditate. When thoughts come to mind, I try to write down whatever I can, and I try to process it. And for what it's worth, you seem to be organizing yourself pretty damn well from where I'm sitting. You're out there doing what you need to do. So even if you feel the need to center, know that at least one person sees that you're doing your part to make your dreams come true. You're inspiring me to stop moping and start doing. The other night, I pulled my DHTML and CSS book off the shelf and skimmed it for a few minutes. It's a start, right?
ReplyDeleteIn two to six months, I'm sure you're going to be enjoying the fruits of your labors.
Fingers crossed, Meredith. I hope you're right.
ReplyDelete