Dreamers fulfill each other's needs

It isn't always easy...marriage.  Even in the best of circumstances there are challenges.  In our circumstances...I think we are doing amazing.  Really.

Having a sick child isn't easy.  It can take a toll on any relationship.  Factor in that there has been a sick mom...and may still be...I'll know later today...it is even more challenging.

Kenna is doing well at the moment, but can take a turn at any time.  It's like living with a time bomb.  You never know when it is going to explode.  You never know when it is going to just rip your whole life apart.

Sam goes with me to the hospital most of the time.  And I mean...most of the time.  Even when I was in the hospital, I was visiting more.  That doesn't bother me.  It makes perfect sense.  And I am the mom.  That's what we do.

Fix things.  That's what dads do.  And when dads can't fix things, when they feel useless, they remove themselves from the situation.

This is why Sam doesn't visit every time.  This is why I almost prefer going without him.  See, I can stay there for hours.  I can sit quietly, watch patiently.  I can talk with the doctors and nurses.  It's my thing.  I like doing all of that.  Knowledge is power for me.  It helps me stay armed and at the ready.  I hate being blindsided.

We talked about it.

me: Do you want me to wait for you to go see Kenna?

Sam: Do what you want.

me: I'll wait for you.

Sam: No, if you're bored before I'm ready, you go.

me: Okay.

Sam: It's not like I can do anything.

And I completely understood.  He can't hold Kenna.  Most of the time he can't touch Kenna.  He did get to take her temp last visit.  It was an experience and a half for him.  He's never taken an axillary temp.  I can't wait until he has to take a rectal temp and she poops at the same time.  I'm wicked, aren't I?

Soon enough she will be bigger and he will be dying to go every visit.  For now, I respect that he doesn't need to be there every day, just like he respects my need to go...every day.  And that's why this works.  We're creating an environment our baby can thrive in...a loving home, two wacky parents, a teenage big brother, and a frighteningly large dog.  What more could Kenna need?