Have wheels will travel is the song of the WAHM

I knew my time was going to be limited yesterday. It was one of my errand days. The tile guy wasn't coming back until today, so I knew I had to get the errands out of the way.

So, I left the house at one to drop Rachel off at 1:30pm. Oh, and she forgot her ID for work, so we had to turn around and go back home. She literally had to leap from the car to clock in on time.

I hate close calls. And that's why I was so worried about the possibility of running out gas. Still, Rachel needed to be to work on time, so I tempted fate and drove with the light on. I made it. Whoohoo!

From there, I managed to get lost in the wilds of South Carolina as I tried to find the office where I was supposed to be able to pick up a check for Sam. Only I arrived and got the runaround instead of a check. Sam was not happy when I texted.

From there, it was off to the library to drop off overdue library books. Yeah, I'm horrible with that. I used to be better, but I've been busy. Sue me. Actually, they bill me. And I'm thinking it's a good five bucks right about now. Dammit.

Then it was to the other side of Charlotte, the dark side. Yes, I have to pass a series of strip clubs to get to another one of the companies we do work for. I found the place just fine. And when I walked it, it was like a boy's club. There were guys lounging all over and hanging out. And would you believe they didn't remember me? Well, given the sundress I wore, that will never happen again.

I dropped off the check, but they didn't have a check for me. So, I headed to Lowe's and called Sam. He didn't take that well. After Lowe's, it was back to the company again...over the railroad tracks and back past the strip clubs to the remodeling company I went. This time...check. And more time out of my day that I would never get back.

In my zeal to get home and get some writing done, the fun stuff, not the boring stuff I make better money on...for now...I forgot to go to the bank. Yes, I actually pulled into the driveway, stopped the vehicle, grabbed my purse, saw the check sticking out of it, and started the car again. All while emitting a colorful display of my displeasure.

Four hours I was gone. Four hours. Half a normal work day spent in a car. Mostly. Glad I only do this once a week.

And when we sleep, we dream

This has been one heck of an exhausting week. We have the bathroom remodel that will not end, still going. We have Rachel and Austin here. Sam has been working, and estimating, and working on estimates. And I have pretty much been holding down the fort.

It's been a week of late nights and early mornings. It's been a week of running errands and staying busy. It's been a week that I look forward to ending.

And I suppose that it's no wonder that when I get to sit down for too long, I start to get sleepy.

I've been working on SEO articles for Sam and Carolina Home Enhancements. I've been working on a novel that I need to finish. I edited 224 pages yesterday. That'll wear a person out. And I've been keeping up two blogs, two Twitters, three Facebooks, one Google+, and a partridge in a pear tree. Or it feels that way.

Rachel had me at the grocery store at 7am, since she needed to pick up a few things and it had to done before the tile guy arrived. I was still sleepy then, even though I had been up since 5:30am. Stupid mornings.

So Sam came home around lunch time. He had been to the siding job twice. And he had done a glass replacement once. We were on our respective pieces of furniture. That's pretty much all I remember. Luckily, Rachel recorded it for posterity. But I'm pretty sure I dreamed. Happy dreams.

What makes me think so?

I woke up relaxed...and happy.

Dreamers love using their imagination

It's been a while since I've had an excuse to read a good children's book. After all, my babies are currently 13 and 17. They have long since stopped wanting me to read to them. It stinks because I rather enjoy it. So, when I had an opportunity to get a The Costume Trunk, a children's book, for free with the From Left to Write Online Book Club, I had to jump at it. (Plus, a picture book is almost all I can manage these days commitment wise...)

The beauty of reading children's books is that they do so much for the imagination. And for me, it reminded me of growing up in the Adirondacks and winters spent entertaining ourselves in the basement. My parents were genius at keeping us entertained. This was before the time of video games...or maybe we simply weren't interested in them. All I remember is the hours of fun we had with refrigerator boxes.

We would each get a refrigerator box. That was just the beginning of the fun. The refrigerator box was a canvas. We could draw on it with markers and crayons. We could cut it and modify it with scissors. We could turn that box into a boat. We could turn the box into a house. We could turn two boxes into a train. We could make a small village. We had a blast.

We spent lazy afternoons reading in our boxes. We would load them with blankets and pillows and just hunker down. I would load mine with books and run a library. We could throw a blanket over it and turn it into a table for a tea party.

I loved winters spent in those refrigerator boxes. Those are some happy memories. There's something about childhood imaginations that can turn the most boring things into something magical and wonderful...like a simple cardboard box. I wouldn't trade that time and those experiences for anything. In fact, I did my best to encourage those same experiences in my kids. So far, so good.

Dreamers hate down time

Okay. That's not entirely true.

Every once in a while, I really enjoy having a moment where I can simply breathe. I like being able to relax and to stop thinking and just be...truly live in the moment.

Ah, but then there's Sam. And Sam does not do down time well. He gets all fidgety. He wants to be making money. He starts looking around for something to do...anything to do.

So, it looks like the gate is getting stained...finally. It's a good day for it. There was rain yesterday. The great outdoors is cooler than it has been in forever. And it feels like there's even a bit of a break in the humidity.

That means I get to work. Sometimes, the work part is easy. I get the house to myself. Bishop and I work on the couch for a bit, then the lounge chair, and I'll even sit at the desk once in a while. Then, when I get cold from the air blowing on me, we move to the garage. I turn on the fan and I write from the comfort of the couch while getting to enjoy a change of scenery.

I like my life. I like that I can do this. And I really like that for the first time in a long time, I am really making money. I'm really at a point where I can contribute. I'm really at a place where I can feel good about where I am financially.

It's getting better. And as long as Sam keeps working and I get to keep writing, life will continue to be happy and balanced. And when he's home, I have to find projects to keep him busy. I have a running list. It shouldn't be too hard.

The important thing is that dreamers find a way to channel that energy for good instead of wallowing and making life bad. So, we're heading to the Canine Cafe today. It's Bishop's birthday tomorrow. We'll be celebrating a day early so that he can enjoy the extra time with Daddy. And tomorrow, Sam starts a job that will occupy him quite possibly through the weekend, followed by another job that will cover the following week.

Fingers crossed, there will be more work after that. We're doing everything we know to do. Oh, but we're open to suggestions. So, anyone want some exterior work done? Carolina Home Enhancements is open for business.

Where the wild things shouldn't be

I love nature. Tamed. All nice and neat and in its place.

I like nature less when it intrudes. No, I don't mind the deer that stand in our yard here and there. They are lovely to behold. And I don't mind the array of lizards that cross our driveway and sun themselves on the the cedar siding of the house. And I especially don't mind the rabbits that hop through the yard.

I do, however, take issue with spiders and snakes. And last week we were ripe with both. I very nearly had a car accident caused by a rogue spider that made an appearance and climbed up the windshield while I was driving. Then, if that wasn't enough, there was a snake on Thursday night.

I hate snakes. The garter ones aren't so bad. The problem is that it can take a moment or two to distinguish what I'm dealing with and by then, the thing is dead. I'm more of a shoot first, ask questions later kind of girl when it comes to snakes.

So, we were sitting on the screen porch. You may recall that the screen porch is our little private sanctuary. We rid ourselves of the hot tub last summer in favor of a more functional room that we could entertain more people in. The result has been that we have a lovely room to share with friends. There are a few places that the screens aren't secured anymore. These are places that Rachel's rotten cat, Ninja, has discovered so that she can make a break for it and hide under the shed. And these are places that birds have discovered when it came time to nest for the season.

We have a lovely bird's nest behind the television and we would gain pleasure each day from seeing the mom and dad bird come in and feed the young, clean up after them, and even watched as the babies learned to fly around the safety and security of our screened in porch.

At least it felt safe and secure.

And I love the door way of the screened porch, right next to the television. It is the spot that Sam and I had our very first kiss. We still stand there and re-enact that moment from time to time. Because I can stand indoors a step up and he's so much taller than I am, it makes kissing perfect and easy.

Ah, but we won't be standing there so much anymore.

As we were talking Thursday about how tired we were and how we were ready to go to sleep, as we innocently planned our next day, a snake dropped down from the nest...with a baby bird in its mouth. Oh, and it wasn't just any kind of snake...it was a cottonmouth. They are pretty much highly poisonous.

Sam: What the heck is that?

me: Snake.

It was less than two feet from me and I automatically curled up in my chair. Sam vaulted over the snake into the kitchen and grabbed a chef's knife from the butcher block. He came in and started slicing away at the snake. Seriously, this is the only time I've wished for a ginsu knife. Soon the snake was dead and the baby bird had been put out of its misery, and we were researching snakes.

We weren't so sleepy anymore.

And my lovely screened porch, a place to relax and unwind, not so relaxing anymore. And it doesn't seem quite so safe. And my kissing spot has become the spot where the snake dropped.

I torture myself some with what ifs. What if we had been standing there? What if Bishop had happened upon the snake while going to the bathroom? What if we had been outside making a bonfire when we had crossed paths with the snake?

I'll recover from this. I'll get past my fear. My life won't feel so tainted eventually. It would just happen a lot faster if I knew that the wildlife would stay in the wilds.

Dreamers don't ever stop playing

It's really important to me that I be playful. I think that when you stop playing, you start aging. And so it was incredibly important to me that I could find someone who would indulge my playful nature.

I still like running around playing Hide and Seek. I'm not above being goaded into a game of tag. And most of all, I love doing things when I'm not stuck in front of a computer.

So, would it help to explain my romance with Sam if I told you how we play? Oh, because we do...all the time. When we first started dating, we used to play Hide and Seek all the time with the neighborhood kids. We always hid best. And only our giggling could give us away. And we'd run around and play with paintball guns. Yes, he's shot me before. It's still one of my favorite nights. We were playing!

Is it surprising at all that when we were shopping for our nephew's birthday party that we picked up some toys for us, too? Ummm...of course, we did. And then we spent the evening just waiting to get home to play with them.

We picked up some Nerf guns. It led to one of our epic battles. We were chasing each other around the house, shooting and reloading. We were diving behind furniture and ducking and pretty much having an amazing night.

I never want to get so old that I stop playing. I never want to get so mature that I can't stop and see what's important. Playing is important. Try it some time.

The impatient remodeler

That's what I called Sam yesterday. It's a nickname he's earned over a few days. And you will soon see why.

First of all, this bathroom remodel began as a big dream. We talked about what we wanted to do. We knew we needed to have it done by the time the kids started school again so that they would have their own bathroom. We have been struggling to share one bathroom with all the conflicting schedules. It's worse because the one bathroom is in the master bedroom.

So, then we managed to get a really good deal on a new power tool: the air chisel. And Sam was off and running because he just had to try it out. When I did my hall bath, the identical floor plan, it took me DAYS of chiseling and snorting dust. Sam had ours out in just a couple of hours. I even helped some. And one afternoon, Rachel's boyfriend, Austin took it for a test drive. We maybe should have given him more instructions on account of he about chiseled to the dirt under the slab. Oops.

And then we bought materials and started checking out the rates for the tiling and plumbing that we couldn't do. Well, even though everyone claimed they could be ready to start on Monday, the tub, which was the first thing that had to be installed, didn't get in until yesterday. Oh, but it's pretty. And so worth it.

Thursday was the day that Sam had to replace the electrical outlet with a GFI and the light switches to black so that everything matched and looked good with the oil rubbed bronze. It does! And then he had to pour cement into the hole that was left from the plumbing installation.

So today is install the floor today, which will culminate in Sam's installation of the vanity. And this is where the impatience part comes in. We went to the movies Wednesday night. Afterwards, we ended up staying up waaaaay too late.

Sam had to find out what the top would look like on the vanity. And he had to put the handles on the vanity. And then he had to make the drawers all level and even and spent a good half hour adjusting them. Oh, but to top it off, he had to try out the new faucet. It looked great. But the problem is that it all needed to be undone before it could be installed anyway.

What's the point of doing everything twice? I couldn't figure it out. Oh, but he had to see what it all looked like.

It reminded me of the year that my mother bought me a Cabbage Patch Kid for my birthday. Then she hid it and forgot that it was in the basement closet when she asked me to get her something out of there. I spent six months, no lie, visiting that doll every day. I even became very bold and would unwrap its packaging, take it out, and hold it before I would secure it again, and put it away for the next afternoon while mom was at work.

That whole deal was a lot of work. And I can't keep assembling and disassembling the bathroom. By Thursday the bathroom should be done. Fingers crossed. Maybe we're both a little impatient.

On living the dream

Keeping my word feels good.

When I finished all the SEO articles the other day, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off me. Yay! And when I submitted my latest article to Yahoo! just like I said I was going to, that felt great, too.

So Sam, my eternal nudger, came home after I hit the submit button.

me: I did it. I wrote the post, just like i said I was going to.

Sam: Just one? You'll make even more money if you write say...ten a day.

This is true. I get paid per post from Yahoo!. And I get bonuses based on views, which is why I am involved in shameless self-promotion all the time. Be patient with me people, it's my livelihood here.

At the same time, I realized...I'm a writer. I always said I wanted to be a writer when I grew up and now here I am doing it. I get paid to write. That makes me a writer. And I'm so very thrilled that I get to live my dream.

And with all the twists and turns my life takes, I also get to readjust my dream all the time. Like, we know we are going to have to sell the boat. Sam has made a lot of valid points. Still, I'll always treasure the time we had on it. It nourished my soul. There are happy memories. There was excitement. We made new friends. We shared with friends we've known forever.

My life never turns out as planned or expected, yet still I plan and prepare. I have backup plans, good ones. And one plan has held true: one day will will have a beach house on blue water. And I truly believe that with our combined efforts, it's all possible.

Never stop dreaming. And take time to recognize your achievements. It will spur you on to dream bigger. Build upon your successes and see where life can lead you. It's going to be a very big adventure.

Dreamers recognize a kickstart

Admittedly when Sam gave me the opportunity to quit my job, I didn't hesitate. I jumped right in with both feet, pretty much the same way I do everything. I'm a big believer in 'Leap and the net will appear.'

So, I turned in my two weeks notice, pretty much before we really discussed some of the logistics. I didn't walk into it completely blind. I think our conversation went something like this.

Sam: How much money do you need to earn a month to pay your bills?

Now that's kind of vague. So, I answered the best I could, taking into account the insurance and credit card bill, that kind of thing. It was a manageable number.

Sam: Are you earning that yet with your writing?

me: Yup.

And we both breathed a sigh of relief. And I quit my job. And he added me to his accounts. And I didn't start touching them until last week...mostly business related purchases...a little gas for my vehicle...some groceries for the house.

Last night, my errands earned me a lecture.

Sam: We need to talk about your spending habit?

me: I have a spending habit?

Sam: You spend a lot more money now.

It's true and it's not. Part of it is that he never knew how much I was spending on groceries because I bought them from my account. The other part is that I am filling the tank now instead of only putting $20 in at a time. In my defense, he told me to. He hates getting into my vehicle and always finding it on empty.

By the end of the discussion, it was determined that I needed to earn more money, contribute more because he's concerned about winter. There's more involved, of course, but I don't have the time to get into it now.

All I can tell you is that it ended my night in a funk and a panic as I calculated all the things that I would need to have, that the kids would need. It seemed hopeless. It seemed like I should give up my dream and hurry up and find another dead end job. I was quiet. That's me in a panic. I turn introspective.

Sam: Baby, I can see you worrying about getting a job. Don't. You can do this.

But for some reason, I had lost faith.

We went to bed last night and he held me, same as always, only better. He waited to see how I would be comfortable and melded to me. It was lovely.

Somehow, I woke up this morning with an epiphany. He was right. I already had everything in place to do this. And I was as excited and giddy as Twix, the neighbor's puppy, while I waited for him to wake up so I could share.

me: Thank you.

And I planted a kiss on that spot that my head fits perfectly in on the center of his chest as I hugged him close.

Sam: Why are you thanking me?

me: You did it again. You gave me that nudge I needed to make a change. You always know how to push me before I get too comfortable. I've got a plan. I figured it out. I can keep my dream and make the money.

I really have. And I really was getting too comfortable. And I really do appreciate him.

Sometimes dreamers just need that extra push...

Dreamers keep their word

...as best we can.

Lately, I have been dealing with extenuating circumstances left and right. I have all these plans to finish my assignment by 7pm tonight. It was a self-imposed deadline...mostly. My guru wanted to know when the articles would be ready.

me: 7pm Tuesday.

I don't know what made me say that. I think I have an overinflated sense of my abilities. Or maybe I underestimated the many ways that I could be distracted and kept from working. That's it.

See, I soon found out that Rachel was going to need to stay over, even though she wasn't supposed to be on account of the bathroom is getting remodeled...still. It was an agreement with her father that they would stay with him until it was done. It's simply too difficult to manage that many people sharing one bathroom when the bathroom in question is in the master bedroom.

So, after we made that agreement, Rachel's been here almost every night. And since she works almost every day, I spend a lot of time driving her around. It sucks an hour out of my day each way.

Add to that the errands I now have to run for the company...well, I better write my little fingers to the nubbins tonight because my availability tomorrow is disappearing FAST. There's a bank run and a check drop off and a Lowe's run that all promise to occupy me for a good two to three hours, depending upon traffic. Stupid traffic.

Still, I have to deliver. I have to keep my word. I can't let my guru down...not when he is my biggest employer other than Sam. Think of me.

Dreamers have a sense of humor

We have to. There are times that life seems like it's playing tricks on us, so we might as well laugh about it. That's the best way to handle things.

And I know how to handle the people in my life. Or...I'm getting better at it. I've had so much practice.

I didn't let my ex goad me into a fight the other day. I was pretty proud of that. And I didn't get upset with Rachel even when she was being cranky. I laughed it off. And I didn't even get upset with Sam when he was working on the bathroom remodel while I worked on the computer yesterday.

He ran an errand and I was supposed to get the vanity cleaned out. It's the last original piece of the bathroom and it has got to go. The new tub will be in on Tuesday and the tiling will start after that. Once that's done, Sam will hook up the new vanity and toilet and the bathroom will be open for business. Seems simple enough, right?

Well, I managed to get a little distracted while he was gone. I was invited to Google+ and so I had to get that going. And I was called by the computer guru about some of work we have going on. And Pippi and I tried to Hangout on Google, but she couldn't hear me and she called instead.

So, I may have forgotten about the vanity. Oops.

I'm sitting on the couch which faces down the hall, and the hall bathroom where Sam is working. And suddenly I see things flying from the room being pitched into the hall. And he's not doing this quietly. He's muttering and commenting as each item is ejected from the room.

I could have been upset that he didn't wait for me or ask me to help. I could have taken it personally, felt all attacked. Instead, I had to laugh.

Sam: What? We need two of these?

And I started giggling, realizing that he was talking about cleaners that I had stocked up on.

Sam: What is this? A hand soap?

His hand is thrust out into the hall as he holds the hand soap for my viewing.

Sam: I bet you didn't even know you had this.

me: Nope.

And I couldn't stop giggling. The hall was completely covered in towels and cleaners and all manner of debris. My children have this charming habit of leaving empty containers around. So think empty deodorants, used up toothpaste tubes, and an array of old toothbrushes.

He vacated the area, so I hauled in a couple of empty boxes to commence sorting. It was all done in a matter of minutes. And when I was finished I walked outside to throw things away. Sam was outside when I finished throwing the garbage out. I was feeling particularly playful, so I dropped to my knees before him.

me: Oh, mighty remodeler. I have finished with my task. May I once again bask in the warmth of your presence.

I started giggling.

Sam: Yeah. You can bask.

A sense of humor. That's how we hold it together.

Dreamers thrive in upheaval

Or we try really hard.

As I type this, the office...no, the entire house has filled with a dusty haze from the air chisel in the bathroom. If I'm hating it, you know that Sam is. He's the one who's hair follicles deep in the remodel while I try to run the business.

Yes, he was able to send the guys off to complete a job today that was so minuscule, he was able to work on an estimate, meet with a salesman for one of the companies he works for, and put in some time remodeling the bathroom all from the comfort of our home.

The house, which he likes kept reasonably neat, has been throw into a complete and utter state of demolition and clutter. The living room has the bathroom door and all the new fixtures, along with some bathroom odds and ends all stacked against one wall. There is an enormous trash can taking up half our hall all the time, adding that little something extra to the long walk to our only functioning bathroom. And the garage...well, we have a walkway that is so narrow even Bishop struggles at the moment. That's because our new vanity, counter, and tub are in it, long with some leftover materials.

I have to tell you, I'm really proud of Sam at the moment. He likes things nice and neat. When we were working on scraping the ceilings in the house a few years back, he had to have the house reassembled every day. After putting in a ten hour day scraping, mudding, and sanding, we would clean up, vacuum, and put all the furniture back where it belonged...even if only for the six to eight hours we slept.


This time, he has learned to accept the mess. I dusted the entire house this morning. And he coated it in dust a few hours later. It happens. Ah, but I see real growth in him. There's growth in me, too. In the past, when he would snap at me during a remodel, I would take it personally. I thought it was an attack. Now, I see it for what he is. He's frustrated and doesn't even realize he's doing it. And when I call him out, he stops.

With any luck, the tub will be installed on Monday. The tiling will begin after that. And...fingers crossed, the room will be reassembled by the end of the week. Yup. I can stand being uncomfortable for a few more days so that we knock one more job off of our remodel list.

Whew!

Money talks, but barter is better

Before I lived in The Bubble, I really only knew one currency. I used the dollar, and more often the debit card for every transaction in my life. It was the American way.

Then I discovered that there are some ways, ways that existed long before currency, that are even better. I live for the barter. Barter is the way of the blogger, the way of The Bubble, the best thing since sliced bread. (And we know how I like my bread...thickly sliced with butter...)

Ed across the road will do just about anything for beer. He used to cut my lawn for an 18 pack of Bud Light. He pet sits for beer. He offers chem treatments for beer. The bank account may not always be flush, but the fridge is never empty.

As a blogger, I get lots of writing opportunities. Sometimes there's a little cash involved, but more often than not, I write for swag. When I wrote about the Heart of Haiti project, I received a necklace that I wear several times a week. Yahoo! has rewarded my efforts with flowers, Target gift cards, the best blanket ever, and a free trip...

I love to barter!

And so it was that as we worked on these remodeling projects, we looked for ways to incorporate the barter. It looks like we may get our tile work done for a pool table, which not only helps us clean out the man cave, but also helps us keep more cash on hand. We need cash on hand.

Then we met with my computer guru. It just so happens he needs work done around the house. And it just so happens that Sam needs work done on his website. So, we're bartering. Looks like we'll get six months of his SEO services and we'll install some windows and hardwood flooring.

Wonder how to get more out of life, how to make your money last longer? Consider finding a way to barter for what you want and need. You must have some useful skill or something you don't want. Put it to use. Then come tell me all about it. I'm always looking for fresh bartering ideas.

Staying connected

I was told there was a danger, when I began working from home, that I would lose touch with people. I was warned that I could become trapped in the house and never interact. It was suggested that I would be sad and lonely.

Me? Sad and lonely? Right.

To date, I have been inundated with people during the day. I have been connecting with the neighbors. Laura and I get together in the morning regularly, even if just to touch base for a few moments. And Priscilla and I talk whenever she is out. With two kids and third on the way, that doesn't happen so much. Then there's Sharon. She passes by on her daily walks. It was doctor ordered, but it still makes me feel guilty. Thanks, Sharon.

Now that we are working on a remodeling project, I'm never bored. I'm never not interacting with people. In fact sometimes, I'd like a little less interaction, please. I'd like a moment of quiet, please. I vant to be alone...please.

Yes, I am busy...with a capital B. No, make it all caps. I am that busy. And I struggle to get ahead with my writing. And I struggle to take care of everything around the house. And as much as I accomplish on a daily basis, it never quite feels like enough. Until I'm pulling in some big bucks, it won't be enough.

As for connecting, I think about the realization that Sam came to recently.

Sam: I think as you get older, you only have a few good friends. You have your family. You have neighbors. And you have your significant other. And your significant other gets most of your time.

It wasn't a jab. I do get most of his time. Ah, but I deserve it. I give him most of mine. And that's why I'm still puttering along towards completion on my latest novel. Dammit.

Longer hours. That's what it's going to take. Longer hours and resisting the urge to interact with the world. Now, I'm not suggesting I'm going to lock myself in a room with a computer and pull a Howard Hughes. Nor am I going to chain myself to a desk. It simply isn't feasible. Still, I have to develop a better plan for getting things done.

Not answering the door or phone. That could work. Or course the person blowing up my phone the most throughout the day is the same one who's paying me. And he's paying me to be accessible.

For now, I'll just keep plugging away. I'll keep blogging. I'll keep in touch with those I love. PS. Clearly, I love all of you...

Dreamers have vision

That's right. And I spend a lot of time using that to envision the life we're building.

Sometimes, the envisioning is easy. I can totally picture the new bathroom. And I'm ridiculously excited about it. I know it may seem silly, but we've been sharing our bathroom with the kids for at least a year now. It's too much. I have to orchestrate showers and bathroom time with military precision or our little house of cards comes crumbling down.

Sometimes the envisioning is more challenging. I'm having trouble envisioning the completed wall and flower bed. We have ground paint outlining the driveway so that's all under control. And this wall is so much work. I now know more about building a retaining wall than I ever hoped to know. I know how far to lay the foundation below the frost line. I know how thick the foundation should be. And I have a good idea about how wide the project will be. (There are conflicting options.)

I know that special consideration needs to be made for drainage. I know what a French drain is. Oui, oui! I have a complex understanding of why the wall must be built the way it's being built. I think.

It will look amazing when it is done. I know this. I also know that if it doesn't get done soon, I'm going to lose it. These projects tend to be all consuming for me. Not by choice, mind you, but by design. I'm the one who's here. I'm the one who has to meet a gajillion contractors a day. I'm the one who has to field phone calls and respond to emails. It's a big job. It's a time consuming job. It can suck up an entire day. Trust me. It already has.

So, I can only imagine how much of a distraction the actual construction will be. I'm never going to accomplish anything at this rate. Nope.

I say this and yet I have been productive. I simply haven't been productive for me. I will be, though. Maybe if I simply envision my novels being completed they will be. (Yeah, I've resorted to manifesting instead of doing. Epic fail?)

The ten year plan is well under way. The projects are slowly getting checked off. And it's so exciting to finally be working on the house again after such a long hiatus.

Time to envision all of our dreams coming true...

Dreamers make tough choices

Well, it's no secret that our sailing dreams have not exactly gone as planned. It didn't surprise me. Our life is like that.

Originally, we bought the sailboat thinking that it would be our home away from home. We had plans to work from it and travel with it. We were going to sail the Caribbean on the off months. It was all figured out.

All we had do was install some electronics and learn how to sail the boat. It seemed simple enough. And goodness knows we're not afraid of hard work. How difficult could it be?

After three sailing lessons, we have our answer. It's stupid challenging.

And since our third lesson was the biggest catastrophe to date, we have decided to roll up our sails for good.

Sam: I think it's a sign. I mean, Nicki, we lost our whole mast! We could have been killed.

me: You have a point.

He really does.

Sam: If we want to go to the Caribbean, we can fly or take a cruise.

me: Talk to me, baby.

So, we're getting the boat repaired. And then we're selling it. There was a lot more to the conversation. Sam can't get injured every time we go on vacation. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. So far, sailing, not so much. And we agreed that what we loved most about the boat was that it was our weekend cottage.

We'll have another weekend cottage some day. For now, we need to work on the house and building the business, and giving me time to write. We'll dream some new dreams...

Dreamers don't deny it

Or at least...I don't.

Yeah, I'm a year older. And I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it. My age has been such an area of contention through the years with Sam. He never expected to fall for an older woman, especially an older woman with two kids. Yet here we are.

So, I suppose people expected that I would start denying my age. I'm not. I don't need to.

The other day, Sam mentioned that he had spoken with another woman my age who was a friend's wife and she has a lot of lines around her face already.

Sam: See, babe. You're holding up really well.

Yeah. I know this. I've been telling him this for so long that it's about time for him to catch on.

And I've noticed lately how things have changed. He has stopped comparing me to others. He has stopped wondering if he should be with someone else due to factors that can't be changed. He is embracing our relationship in a way that has never happened before.

There's no denying that everything has changed in the best way possible. There is no denying that we are on the right path. There is no denying that we have a big future. There is no denying that it is time to dream bigger...together.

Our ten year plan has expanded to a thirty year plan. He has promised me thirty years. And I want all of them and more. There's no denying my feelings for him and my hopes that all of these plans come to fruition.

What are you dreaming these days?

Life on day dock

Well, it wasn't home, but it was close. It was easier to park there. We had a slip all to ourselves. And the view was spectacular.

We were closer to the bathroom, shower, marina store, and deck. I joked that I hadn't done this on purpose just to get a prime spot in the marina. And I was full of apologies for Matt, the dock master.

Matt: Are you kidding me? You two are some of the nicest people I've ever worked with.

Awww. That was really nice.

And I have to tell you, boat people are some of the nicest people I've ever known, too. See, they all stick together and help each other out. Sure there was some standard gawking, but mostly people were just trying to understand what happened. So were we.

All I know for sure is that within two hours of making it to the marina everything was settled and planned and organized. The people docked next to us managed to help us get hooked back in to shore power so that Sam could recover from being over heated. With the fans and air conditioner running, it was much more comfortable below deck.

Bud, who had been with us on our past two sailing excursions acting as our sailing instructor showed up with help. He brought Jonathon's cousin and neighbor to help us life the mast and secure it to the boat while removing the genoa from the job roller and the main. It was no simple task and we appreciated the assistance.

Another boating couple stopped by. They gave us the names and numbers of two businesses we needed: The Boatyard and Quantum. The Boatyard would come and tow our boat to their repair shop where they would first give an estimate and then complete the work. And Quantum could repair the rips to our main.

I felt better having a plan. I felt better knowing what to do. I felt better having so much support. No wonder I love the boating life. It has become a home away from home.

It's never dull

The dock master, Matt, has a saying. "If nothing happens, it means you never left the dock." He couldn't be more right.

Every time we've gone out sailing, we've had an experience and a half. We were trapped in Charleston after our first sailing venture. We crashed while docking on our second sailing experience. Ah, but de-masting on our third trip was the cherry on top.

So, Linz was trapped below deck with no air or fans in sweltering heat. Jonathon was working to secure the mast. And while he was great, I was slightly frustrated that he couldn't seem to delegate more. I'm very competent.

We were on the radio with the Coast Guard within minutes of dropping anchor. After a quick assessment of the situation, we discovered that our motor was useless, given the lines in the water and the likelihood that they would end up entwined in the prop. I needed another expense at that moment like I needed another hole in the head.

Soon they had patched us through to BoatUSA. I had signed up for a free membership without really understanding what it was because...hey, we owned a boat and it was free! Turns out the membership entitled us a discount on towing. Very nice. Unfortunately, the one towboat was already helping someone else: Stephen Colbert. If only I were a bigger celebrity.

Instead, we waited while being circled by the Charleston Police boat and another tow boat. It's a good thing they were there. The other tow company had our GPS coordinates and relayed them to our company. And the police ended up helping us out...twice.

The first time, Sam had decided to jump in the water to help Jonathon with the mast, but as the boat drifted he was left far behind. The police brought him back. I figured that would be a humbling experience.

The second time, Jonathon had our radio clipped to his life vest, leaned over the side of the boat, and it promptly dropped into the channel. Without hesitation, he dove in after it.

me: Great. No radio and no Jonathon.

Ah, but the police brought him back to us. Not before we started getting towed, however. And not before I managed to get injured.

Pulling up anchor is challenging in the best of circumstances. With ours...bumpy channel, winds, and lack of control...it was nearly impossible. Sam started pulling the anchor up, but as the boat shifted and we lost the slack in the rope, it tightened over my calf, rubbing the skin. It didn't hurt as much at the time as it was scary. I didn't know where I was going to get pinned or how badly I was going to get hurt. I finally managed to slide my leg out from under the rope. And the very next time with Lindsay's help, the three of us managed to haul in the anchor.

So we were getting towed back to the marina. And the ride gave us a chance to take some pictures and look around, enjoy the scenery, even if it was a bit Rime of the Ancient Mariner. "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink."

Some porpoises decided to swim by us while we were getting towed. I loved that part. And there were three men waiting to help us dock in Day Dock, since there was no way for us to get back to our slip. Matt, of course, was one of them. I yelled to him as we drew nearer.

me: Matt, I love making an entrance.

He laughed.

We had made it back to the marina. Oh, but the adventure wasn't over yet. Come back tomorrow to find out about life on Day Dock.

Battered and broken

Where shall I begin?

Okay. So, we planned and prepared to go out on the boat yesterday. We were feeling pretty good about it. We had picked up extra life jackets. We had checked the DC current to make sure the batteries were charged and the motor would start. We wouldn't want to get stuck out there in the water and have to get towed back or anything.

Seriously. We think about these things.

We knew we had two inexperienced, but enthusiastic sailors with us: Lonnie and Lindsay. And I have to tell you, although we have been friends for three years, and they have been friends with Sam since they were teens, this trip sealed our friendship forever. Nothing was sacred. There are no secrets any more. And that's a good thing.

So, we checked the tides. We lined up Jonathon to come out with us. He has seven years of experience, combined with our two sailing adventures. Right. We figured third time was the charm. This time...perfection.

And it seemed to be going okay. We pulled out of the slip much more smoothly than last time. We took a different route so that Lonnie and Lindsay could see the old prison and the creek. We made it to the other side of the Cooper River Bridge, headed out toward the S.S. Yorktown.

We were at full sail. The area was loaded with boats. And before we left, we all agreed to wear our life jackets. We knew that the waters would be heavily patrolled. Our radio was at the ready, set to channel 16. And our air horn was within easy access.

The genoa and main were gorgeous. Lonnie and Lindsay were so excited and impressed. And Sam was proudly at the helm. I was riding the rail. Jonathon was on the bow. It was fantastic...for about five minutes.

And that's when the U-bolt holding the front stay snapped. For those of you who don't understand how a mast is held up...it's the U-bolt in the front stay and the two side stays. Take it from my experience...without the U-bolt and being at full sail, the wind easily toppled the sail over.

Had I been sitting where I was previously, I would have been nailed by the boom and been in the water. All I know is that everything happened very quickly. Lonnie and Lindsay were covered by the sails. Lindsay was trapped below deck. Jonathon was trying to drop anchor and I went to help him. So did Sam.

There were were, no sail, no way to get to the motor, stuck in the middle of the channel. At least we were all okay. No one had been seriously hurt. We just had to stay calm to get out of this mess.

Come back tomorrow to read about how we managed to get out of this mess. And if you want to see more pictures, visit Suddenly Single Journey.

The Marina: A post in pictures

So far we've had a great trip to Charleston with Lonnie and Lindsay. There will be many more pictures to follow. Today we sail.

Last night we watched a sunset topside, swam off the back of the boat until dark, and then hung out topside listening to music and talking.

This morning, I have the marina to myself while everyone else sleeps. I can't. I don't want to miss a moment of being here. I love the gentle rocking of the boat, the soft breezes caressing my skin, the smell of salt water in the air. I love the peace and quiet, getting back to nature and simply being. Monday and the trip home are going to come way too soon.

It's always so hard to leave. For now, I'll cherish my topside office, the incredible views, and the companionship. Life doesn't get much better than this.