Sometimes when I get really motivated and determined, it is hard for me to shut down. I just want to continue down my path and get to my destination. I suppose that being driven is good. At the same time, there are good reasons to know when to stop and set current tasks aside.
I think it's a sign of good parenting when you recognize that you are about to miss a moment of importance with the kids, when you realize that what seems like a benign comment should actually become a conversation. The same is true of husbands and almost husbands. We can get so comfortable with each other that we stop paying attention.
Devoted as I am to the kids and Sam, I try not to let that happen...ever. And that's why the other night, even though I had been unplugged for most of the day as I drove to and from Charleston, I stopped working when he made a comment. It wasn't one of those benign comments either. He was pretty direct in his attempt to gain my attention.
Sam: What do you do when you know someone's about to make a huge mistake? Do you try to talk them out of it? Do you try to reason with them?
I closed the laptop and walked over to him on the screen porch. He has grown better and better at taking my advice, at listening to my opinions, at heeding my concerns.
me: What are we talking about?
Sam: One of my employees.
me: Ah.
He had been worried that one of his employees was about to leave him and start trying to do what Sam does. Let me tell you, it isn't an easy task. It really does take two people for it to run smoothly. We work together really well. We balance each other out. I am the memory. He is the knowledge. I am the organizer, the technologically advanced one. He is the sheer brute strength, the skills.
All and all, we made one rockin' unit to handle all that comes our way. He tried it without me. It didn't work as well. With me, we're a force to be reckoned with.
me: You can't walk him out of it. You can't stop him. He's a grown man. Sometimes they need to fail. Just let him know that you will always consider rehiring him if possible.
Sam: So, like kids, huh? I have to let him fail.
me: Yup. And he will. Look how long it took you to get all this going.
And I pointed out to him why he's so successful right now, what qualities make it work, and what qualities his employee lacks. I gave him some tips for talking to the bosses. He doesn't ever want this guy to try to steal work from him.
me: He doesn't have what it takes to politic. He has no common sense. Look at the kinds of things he says in front of me, to customers, and to you.
We talked until bedtime. He felt better.
Sam: I'm so glad I have you to talk to about these things. I really value your opinion. I just hope I can remember everything when the time comes.
me: You will. Trust me. You've got this.
There are times we have to remember that while ambition and drive are great, being there for those we love is even more important. Shut it all off once in a while. Spend time with those you want to keep around.
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