It's like Ghost

That was THE movie my freshman year of college. And every girl wanted to learn to throw pots on a wheel after it. Not me. I knew my limitations.

Ah, but one of those limits was never about love. I just know that one day, eventually, I would meet someone that I was safe with, someone I could be real with. With this man, my love would know no limits. It would be boundless. And I would love him with my whole heart.

It wasn't my ex-husband. I loved him. Oh, but the love was tainted almost as soon as it had begun. And I wasn't passionate about him. Still, I knew he loved me and wanted me, no matter what.

Then there was Sam. There was a man I could love with my whole heart. We could talk about ANYTHING and often did. I loved the way he made me feel, and think, and pulled me from my comfort zone. I loved the adventure of our life together. I loved the way we worked so well together. I loved loved loved this man.

I love him still.

We have been different together lately. It feels like freedom. It feels like security. I don't need to cling to him. He seeks me out. I don't need to stick to him. He gathers me to him.

The other night, I gave him space and he came and snuggled me on the lounge chair. He even kissed me. Wow. Big. Major. Wow.

Sam: I know how you like your snuggle time.

And then we went to bed after staying up really late. And he sought me out in bed, even though it was hot, even though he should have wanted the space I was giving him. All night. Every time I was aware of his presence, it was because he was wrapped around me.

I'm not scared. Our lives grow more and more intertwined. And I'm calm and confident.

We're doing what we said we were going to do for the past two years. Two years of dreaming finally coming true.

Then yesterday morning.

We have grown accustomed to a hug before goodbyes and heading to work. Only he has started coming in for a kiss...which is why my eye was jabbed by his whiskers.

me: Ow.

And we tried again. A hug and a kiss.

I couldn't help it.

me: I love you.

It's like my heart swells and those words spill out. It's what I felt rushing through me in that moment.

Sam: Right back at you, babe.

Patrick Swayze's character said 'ditto.' I like our version better.