That's what I have decided. No matter what, I refuse to settle.
I am at a point in my life where I really know what I want and I finally have the confidence to achieve it. I can do this, whatever this happens to be. I can. I've got this.
I am a different woman than I was when I married nearly twenty years ago. I am a different woman than I was when I decided to end that marriage. I am different from the woman who started dating Sam three years ago. And different is better.
For years, I accepted less than I deserved out of fear. I accepted less because I was afraid of being alone. Then I learned that there are worse fates than that...like lonely and with the wrong man.
Now, I'm not afraid of being alone. And I'm not afraid of being lonely. There will always be someone if I want someone.
That means that the one question is...what do I do about my heart? It's a problem because I have to tell you, this dreamer has loved this man more than she's ever allowed herself to love anyone. This dreamer still wants the dream. And I can have it. I can. I just don't know if I should.
Weighing the options here. Weighing the pros and cons. Weighing pretty much everything but me. I have a good idea how much I weigh already.
I'll figure it out. I will. I always do. Just taking my time to make the best decisions. These are the most important decisions I've ever made. There's too much riding on them for me not to take them seriously. Time and patience. The answer will come.
Trust your gut.
ReplyDeletexxoo
You WILL figure it out and let's face it, you already are. Take your time, your heart will heal, and like you said on my blog post today...love fiercely, it's always worth it, even when there is sometimes pain after. Don't regret your path, be happy you have another chance at your dream. for YOU and only YOU.
ReplyDeleteTis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You had some good times, you had some bad times. You realized when enough was enough. It was a learning experience, and I'd say you passed the test at the end of it. No reason to feel regrets, just know that you are strong and can handle what life sends your way.
ReplyDelete