Learning to roll

I have always been good about simply pressing on and pushing through challenges. Lately, that has been tested more and more. And I feel it most acutely with Sam.

Over the last few years, we have been through it. We have struggled. We have fought. We have let anger get the best of us and lead us down the wrong path.

Yet no matter what, we always managed to make it work out.

It's me. I know it's me. As much as I can be impatient and impulsive and moody...he is more so. And when it comes down to it, I tend to be the one to bend and calm down challenging situations.

Over the last few days, I've gone with no more than three hours sleep a night. I am dieting. I am writing two blogs six days a week, maintaining two Twitter accounts, three Facebook pages, a YouTube, a Flickr, and a partridge in a pear tree...all while working full time, running all the errands, and maintaining a house, two cats, and a GIANT dog. It's a lot...even without the bird and tree.

So, I haven't been my best. I have whined. I have complained...mostly that I'm tired. In the end, though, I'm easy to appease. I need but one thing from him: TLC. When times are tough, if he simply enfolds me in his arms, everything melts away and I am ready to face the world again. Sometimes, however, when I am hardest to love is when I need love the most...and he wants nothing to do with me.

Needless to say, we are needing to meet somewhere in the middle. I need to be easier to be with, but he needs to suck it up and hug me when I ask. Every time I ask. As often as I ask.

I can't be mad at him for not giving me what I want if I don't ask for it. So, I asked. Let's see how he answers.