We're struggling right now financially.
There aren't any big jobs, or big jobs on the horizon and Sam is stressing big time. He is doing the quiet introspective stress. He is thinking constantly about what to do to get an influx of cash. And I understand. It's easy to get so bogged down in that, so easy to not be able to function or focus on anything else.
Ah, but I can't.
I was writing like a fiend for Yahoo! and they caught on to me. So, I'm on lock down and can't publish anything for a few days. And even then, I'll be behind my anticipated schedule. It's okay. I believe everything will work out.
Sam has been watching me. I think he marvels at my ability to stay happy despite our struggles. It's what I do. I look for the happy and find the bright spot. One of us has to.
So, I cook and clean...some. And I write lots. And I just think about what I can do to help out without making myself crazy because two crazies in the house is never going to solve anything. I offer up options that he's quick to turn down. I offer up solutions that aren't going to result in the quick influx of cash we need anyway.
At least I try.
We laid there on the couch last night. And he was commenting on our struggles.
me: We have to struggle like this so that one day we can look back and see how far we've come.
Sam: It just seems like we've been struggling for so long.
me: We have.
It's not a constant struggle though. We have good times. We have bad times. And so we looked at the positive.
Sam: Well, at least we have a nice new bathroom. And we managed to finish the living room.
me: See. That's something.
I'd like to think I'm rubbing off on him. I'd like to think that he's coming around to the ways of the Nicki. I wish he didn't have to face so many disappointments. We've had so many people and companies let us down lately. And it's time for our luck to change.
We're due for our happily ever after.
It will come eventually. All good things come to those who wait...or its supposed to happen that way at least.
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