Dreamers let it all hang out

Sure, we may strive to be perfect for our friends and family and all those who rely on us, but deep down...we are real, we reveal our true selves.  And we are happiest when we embrace it, when we show it.

That is the best way to receive real love.

How can anyone love you who doesn't know you?  Oh, they can't.  They can love an idea of you, the very image of you that you put out there, but to truly love you...they would have to know the real you.

Being real is scary.  It feels like nekkid...to lay yourself bare before another human being.  It's a risk.  What if they turn their back on the you that is revealed?  What if they decide that you aren't who they want in their life?

See, I think that anyone who can't love you and accept you for the person you are, doesn't deserve to be a part of your life.  Perfection is too much to ask.  Living up to someone else's lofty expectations is a challenge that can put undue strain on a relationship.

Instead, be real.  Be yourself.  Be the best you that you can be.

I work on that.  A lot.

In my first marriage, I was wound tighter than a drum.  I had to be.  I had to be perfect.  I had to do everything and handle everything and be everything because I had no help.  I had no one to share the burdens with.  I was alone and lonely.  It was a horrible way to live.  I hated that my kids saw that.

At the same time, I was afraid to leave the marriage.  I knew my ex would never pay child support.  He hasn't disappointed me there.  I knew that he would be no more supportive in the divorce than he was in the marriage.  That has contributed to many of the challenges I've been facing lately.  And I was afraid of all that and more.  I could make anything work.  I could fix anything.  Only...I couldn't fix the marriage...no matter what I tried.

Then Sam came along.  He's complex.  As private as he is, he shares everything with me.  He works along side me when I need him.  He shares in my life.  He lets me share in his.  He's what I need and what I want.  And I give him the same.

Blessed.  That's what I am.  But I would have none of this if I hadn't taken a huge risk.  Huge risks come with their own rewards.  I was real.  I still am.  And he is, too.