Dreamers love a new routine

Life is full of change.  And of all the changes that we have endured lately, I love the ones with Keenan.

We have been having pancakes together at least once a week.  I would consider that a routine.  And the fact that I am able to function well enough that early to make them and not burn them...huge!

And while we eat our pancakes, we watch a DVRed show together.  We like to pick ones that Sam doesn't watch.  So Thursday morning it was Once Upon a Time.  We're loving this new show.  Come on.  You know it appeals to me, all fairy tales and hope.  Not everyone sees it that way.  I see the hope.

Then I send Keenan off to school, while urging him to wear a sweatshirt and reminding him that I'm not going to visit him in the hospital when he ends up with pneumonia.  He knows I'm kidding.  Any time he's been in the hospital, I have camped out there. 

Then I write.  And I write and I write and I write. 

This is the life I chose.  I like it.  Of course, at times my brain hurts.  Seriously.  My brain just hurts.

So, I get up.  I stretch.  And I don't mean like..yoga.  No, I simply move around.  That has to be good enough.  I get winded easily.  Like just cleaning around the house leave me breathless in a not so good way.  And after my walk the other day, Sam thought I was going to pass out or something, I was breathing so hard.  He's cute when he worries over me.

Then evening comes.  I've made dinner, or Sam's picked up dinner.  And I've cleaned up.  That's my almost favorite time of day.  And this is why...

We have our snuggle time on the couch.  Sam loves on the belly.  He's still struggling to feel the baby move, but I'm starting to feel her more and more.  I forgot what it was like.  I like it.  I like how he lets me get comfortable.  I like how he knows when I'm uncomfortable.  I like how he reaches out to me, rubbing my back or my thighs or whatever he imagines is currently upsetting me.

Last night, no amount of rubbing could make it better.  I was having hip joint pain.  My...everything is loosening up.  I'm already snapping, crackling, and popping all the time.  It freaks me out because I expect pain to be associated with it.  And there isn't, but there are other growing pains instead.  And some of them just can't be remedied.

With enough love, some can.

And soon enough, my favorite time of night...bedtime.  After I get comfortable, Sam wraps himself around me, settles his hand on my belly, and then sleep.  He's home to me.  Always has been.  And when we're snuggled together, the comfort translates to rest.  Best routine ever.