I have been reveling in the way he reaches out to me so much lately. That's new-ish. He used to be so tightly wound, hated snuggling unless he had been drinking. So...yeah...weekends were super special.
Only now, we'll be sitting on the couch and he just has to be touching me. We lay in bed and he just had to be touching me. Instead of me chasing him to the door when he goes to a job, he comes to me for hugs and kisses before departing.
Oh, and the hugs...
They are long and lingering. They are involved. He draws me so close I can scarcely breathe. He holds my head to his chest. He caresses my hair.
When he woke up yesterday, he made my day.
Sam: Hey! I thought you were going to wake me up! It's so hard to get up in the morning when I just want to climb back into that warm bed with you.
It's heaven. Really. So wonderful.
And I have to tell you, it makes me forget all the bad stuff we went through to get to this point. It does remind me...how we got here. There's a secret...a key. I know what it is. I'll let you in on it.
Ready?
Forgiveness. Love can't conquer all. If you can't let go, if you can't forgive, you have no future.
It's true.
You can hold so tightly to the past that you don't have room for the future.
Let it go. Just release it all. If you want that future, you can't hold on to the past.
I love this man. With all my heart. So much it scares me. So much that the thought of the loss of him is crippling. I don't worry that he would voluntarily leave me. More, I worry that the smoking will catch up with him. I worry he'll dies young like his mother. I worry that the skin cancer will flare up...again. And I work to make sure that the worries don't overwhelm me.
So, I let go of the bad, and so did he. We made room for our future. We're growing together...so very nicely.
::big hugs:: Thank you for sharing this. Forgiveness is key, isn't it?
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