Dreamers find comfort in future dreams

My neighbor, Priscilla, came over with her three girls.  Her youngest is just shy of two months old.  We have dreams of raising our two girls together.  I imagine them in a few years, romping around in the yard together.

I comfort myself with that a lot.

Sure, I could be setting myself up for a big disappointment.  That's what happened last year with our son.  We had all these hopes and dreams, this big imagined future, and only twelve weeks after conception, it was all over.  He simply died in my womb and I was left to have and D&C.  We were left to mourn...on Thanksgiving.

And I don't want to go through that again.

I know none of how life plays out is based on our wants, our deep seeded desires to avoid negative experiences.  I believe that I will never have to face more than I can handle.  At the same time, I constantly discover that it's amazing how much I can handle.

Still, being negative isn't going to make anything better.  I try to stay positive and hope for the best possible outcome.  No matter what, I will be able to look back and know that I did everything possible to bring this little one into the world.  I will have no regrets.

I'm baking this baby with love.  And any child who is this loved and wanted should definitely stick around.  Please, stick around.  We have so much we want to share with you, so much love we want to lavish on you.  All the struggle will be worth it.